I'm 21, happily married to the single most amazing woman in the world, open-minded, and happy with where life is going and things to come.
This blog is a bit of everything that i find interesting or relevant. There's also a lot of sex and lifestyle posts, consider yourself warned.
Enjoy.


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officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

  • girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know

ragingpaige:

omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”

timelady-of-221b:

I FUCKING HATE SOCIAL ANXIETY BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE BUT ALSO DYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND HANG OUT AND RELAX AND HAVE FUN AND NOT BE ALONE AND LONELY AND FEEL LIKE SHIT BUT YOU DO FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN RELAX ENOUGH TO TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING

weedporndaily:

This glass thooo 😱💯👌 @jensvibes by cannabis_leo http://ift.tt/YstDO3

weedporndaily:

This glass thooo 😱💯👌 @jensvibes by cannabis_leo http://ift.tt/YstDO3

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

emir-dynamite:

sharkchunks:

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”
“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

"What’s our stop?"
"You’ll get off when I tell you to."

emir-dynamite:

sharkchunks:

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”

“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

"What’s our stop?"

"You’ll get off when I tell you to."

jbkats:

"paramore was pulled off tour for a week when hayley was 16 because her mom grounded her" is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

hhantu:

franfrancatman:

My dad and I made this fishtank for my mum for Christmas a few years ago with dollhouse furniture. I thought it was pretty rad

i cant believe your mom is a fish